Most salary negotiation advice is variations on 'be more confident'. That advice doesn't change behaviour for the women who most need it — the ones who avoid negotiating because confrontation feels expensive. The tactics below work regardless of comfort with assertiveness.
Anchor with research, not feelings
Before any salary conversation, know the market rate for your role with three data sources: Glassdoor, Levels.fyi (tech), salary surveys for your industry. Internal benchmark if possible (anonymous chats with peers, or LinkedIn salary insights). Walk in knowing the upper end of the range, not just the median.
'Based on market data for roles at this level, I'd expect a base of £85-95k' lands differently than 'I think I deserve more'. The first is informational; the second invites pushback.
The script that works without performance
Initial offer received: 'Thank you. I'd like to discuss the package before responding.' Then in writing: 'Based on the role's scope and market data, I'd like to discuss base salary at £X.' Wait. Don't justify in the first message; let them respond.
If they push back: 'I understand. Here's the rationale — [market data + your specific experience that's above bar].' Don't apologise. Don't soften with 'I know this might be a lot but...'.
What to negotiate besides base
Sign-on bonus (especially if base flexibility is limited). Annual bonus target. Vacation days (often more flexible than base). Equity if applicable. Title (compounds over career). Start date. Working location flexibility. Each has a cash value over years.
Why women under-negotiate even when prepared
Penalty perception: the worry that pushing back will damage the working relationship. Evidence shows it usually doesn't — hiring managers expect negotiation. Even when it does cause friction, the long-term cost of underpaid years far exceeds the short-term discomfort. The £5,000 difference in starting salary compounds to roughly £100,000 over a career.
Negotiation is a transferable skill, not a personality trait. Most of the discomfort comes from inexperience, not from being female. The tactics work — confidence comes after, not before, the practice.